I (sometimes) call myself Mr. Pondersome. I'm a rather wordy, weirdy person. I say hullo a lot. I write a lot more. While you're here, why not give some of it a read?

Friday, 22 November 2013


The TARDIS returned in a cacophony of rasps and metallic clangs. As soon as it landed, the doors flew open and the Doctor ran out. He was quite literally a different man this time: taller with curly brown hair and a distinctly Edwardian style of dressing though without a petticoat or even a cravat. He looked haggard with torn sleeve cuffs and five o'clock shadow creeping around his high cheekbones. He ran forward trying to maintain an air of refined dignity to his pace. The Eylemanusfly closed in behind him.
            The Eylemanusfly was a giant white insect with three sets of wings and sharp, elongated pincers that tried to snap at the back of the Doctor's head. He fell forward and it lunged after him.
            The Doctor kicked the fallen shelf in front of him and tipped over the small box that was sat on top of it, causing it to spill out various cleaning appliances. In desperation he snatched the window cleaner bottle and sprayed it on the Eylemanusfly's head. The tiny spurt missed its eyes but caught one of the feelers, causing the insect to momentarily lose balance.
            The Doctor stood up and ran back towards the ticket office.
            'Charley!' he shouted, 'Shut the...' The TARDIS doors were already shut. The Doctor couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the pre-emptive action: now he was entirely alone.
            He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and activated whatever electronic mechanism remained in the once automatic door. It slid partly open and he squeezed through the gap just as the Eylemanusfly's pincers tried to cut off his middle finger. He slammed it shut and pulled out his pocket watch.
            The Eylemanusfly is a rather tragic creature with a remarkable lifespan. A matter of seconds after breaking free from its pupa, the insect takes off in flight and starts ageing by the minute. By the first hour of its life it has matured and reached middle age, all the while never once slowing its wing beats. This period of its life sees an abrupt change in temperament, it determinedly seeks out a mate and reacts violently towards any and all perceived obstacles. It often does this by using its pincers or swinging its hardened abdomen around like a battering ram.
            The dusty glass cracked at the Eylemanusfly's last resort. The Doctor watched it patiently, keeping one eye on his pocket watch.
            '3:57,' The Doctor muttered, 'Poor thing.'
            This particular Eylemanusfly had only just reached middle age, it had spent an hour chasing both the Doctor and his companion Charley around the TARDIS after it got in at their last destination. He had warned her to not leave the doors wide open but she insisted on taking in another lungful of the planet Authen's salty air. Recalling the insect's two hour lifespan, the Doctor had rushed around the console, putting in the appropriate co-ordinates a little at a time. He now glanced behind him and saw the red light flashing and the accompanying beep.
            The Eylemanusfly thrashed against the same spot on the glass. The Doctor stepped back and started to count down the seconds. He tried not to look too harshly on the insect; it was quite beautiful after all, even its giant eyes were endearing in their own way. Charley certainly didn't agree.
            The Doctor heard a resonant tick and checked the pocket watch. When he glanced back up, he couldn't see the Eylemanusfly. Realising that he was now behind the counter, he slowly approaching the shattered glass and looked down at the ground. The feelers had shrivelled, all its wings had returned to their casings and even one of its pincers had been broken at the tip. The insect was dead.
            'Effective but horrifying,' the Doctor said. He turned fully around. 'Such a dangerous device.'
            He hurried over to the PPM and pulled out his sonic screwdriver again. 'Well, if the Time Lords aren't going to get around to it anytime soon...' A few seconds of buzzing and the red light stopped blinking. He tugged two specific wires simultaneously and the steady beep faded too.
            'Doctor?' Charley shouted through one partially opened TARDIS door. He could just about see her short blonde hair poking out. 'Is it safe now?'
            'It's dead! So yes.'
            The Doctor stepped out of the ticket office. 'Have you got a piece of cloth handy?'
            'Hang on.' Charley shut the door and then came out with a scarf. 'Will this do?'
            'I should say so.' The Doctor knelt down in front of the dead Eylemanusfly, wrapped it in the scarf and picked it up.
            'Why didn't you say you were going to use it for that? That's my mother's old scarf.'
            'I'm sorry.'
            'It's all right. I don't think I'd have ever convinced myself to wear it.' Charley chuckled. 'So are you going to give the bug a proper burial?'
            'At sea, I think. It's only right I return it to Authen.'
            'I agree. This place is hardly prepossessing, rather like a tomb.'
            'It's a shame really.' The Doctor said, glancing around the bus station and then down at the dead Eylesmanusfly again.
            'It's actually a good thing we're going back to Authen.'
            'The air?'
            'I was thinking of the eggs actually. The ones currently underneath the console, that is.'
            'It was a female?' The Doctor rushed past her into the TARDIS and groaned. 'Of course it was. I should have known from the size of the abdomen.'

            'Charming.' Charley said, shutting the doors behind her. A minute or so later the TARDIS hissed out of existence.

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