I (sometimes) call myself Mr. Pondersome. I'm a rather wordy, weirdy person. I say hullo a lot. I write a lot more. While you're here, why not give some of it a read?

Sunday 12 April 2020

WHEN OPENING AN EASTER EGG (a.k.a. A List of Serious Instructions for Approaching Chocolate Ovoids)


The Cardboard Packaging

  • Open at top then, once egg is safely put aside, open bottom too.
  • Tear off flaps in case a bee needs to be captured and delivered outdoors.
  • Put hand through curiously-shaped window and rattle like bracelet.
  • Answer puzzles on box or otherwise decorate with permanent marker.


The Plastic Packaging

  • Turn upside down and flap two halves like filmy wings.
  • Use scissors on plastic just for click and wobbliness of cut.
  • Keep aside in case ovoid mould comes in handy for later occasion.
  • Wonder why weeks later and promptly chuck out.


The Tin Foil

  • Peel off carefully and flatten, cutting off wherever torn.
  • Apply to action figures as shiny face mask.
  • Peel off carefully to preserve face imprint then scrunch up with sadism.
  • Play catch with precious nugget until bin intercedes.


The Chocolate Egg

  • Tap against lip of bowl to open.
  • Break down into chocolatey shards.
  • Use thin sharp shard to write name on bigger shard.
  • Preserve in fridge or devour in one.

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