I (sometimes) call myself Mr. Pondersome. I'm a rather wordy, weirdy person. I say hullo a lot. I write a lot more. While you're here, why not give some of it a read?

Sunday, 24 December 2017

LIFE OF THE CHRISTMAS DO (a.k.a. Part One of a Downbeat Though Hopefully Not Altogether Depressing Christmas)

I thought I said I'd buy you a drink, Sid!
    So how is that car of yours doing anyway? Got round to the MOT yet?
    I'm still learning. Stuck on parallel parking. I hate it.
    Always the last to finish, Jenna. If you poke that around any more, it'll crumble away entirely.
    Is anyone having dessert? Just Pepe?
    Nah, I'll do.
    I'll join you at the bar, Fearne. 
    Another red, is it?
    I'm not judging...

    How are you anyway?

    To be honest I'm just glad to be out of work. How's yours?
    I don't think I've ever been this tired.
    Well, Fearne, if you're buying.
    Three quid? I'm sure that went up since we first got here!
    Ah well. Thanks anyway.
    Back to the fray, I suppose.

    No party crown this year, Sid? I had no idea you were so vain about that haircut.

    I know. That was mean. I apologise, especially to you Fearne. You have to go home with the pretty boy.
    Sorry! Hey, I did bring you that drink!
    I did, in fact. I brought it all the way over from the bar!
    Blimey! Do you even have room for that sundae, Pepe? I wouldn't.
    Well, I'm pooped, Pepe.
    Sorry. It just slipped out.
    Look at that little brown trickle! It's gone right down his chin!
    Oh, shit. Was that loud? They just looked over.
    Table on the far right. Big window. Don't look.
    Right. Yes. I have been loud tonight. Louder than Noddy Holder. Lord...
    Sorry, Jenna. I'll shush. I'll be a good little boy.
    Maybe we should go. That was delicious but it's gotten really quiet in here. I hope we didn't chase them all out.
    Unless anyone else is thirsty? No?
    Well, all right then.

    Bitter. Absolutely bitter out here.

    I should probably have worn cords like you, Pepe. So stylish. 
    Anyway wanna go halfsies on a taxi?
    Oh right. A lift.
    Well, actually, Sid, I don't live that far from Pepe's.

    Fair enough. I fancy an early night myself. I'll grab a taxi.
    Thanks for organising tonight, Fearne. Sid.
    Did you leave your windows open, Jenna? Oh, hell. Go check. If you're lucky, the only thing that will have got in is the cold.
    All okay? Well, you best thaw out your bum before going! Daft mare!
    Merry Christmas, everyone! Catch you in the new year!


    Such a thankless bunch of sad sacks...

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