I (sometimes) call myself Mr. Pondersome. I'm a rather wordy, weirdy person. I say hullo a lot. I write a lot more. While you're here, why not give some of it a read?

Friday, 12 July 2013

PUZZLE CHATTER (a.k.a. A Conversation I Made Up a While Ago)

NEIL: I've been solving a lot of puzzles lately.
ERASMUS: Sudoku?
NEIL: I don't get Sudoku. I get the rules but I don't really care.
ERASMUS: Well at least you've graduated from the back of crisp packets and cereal boxes.
NEIL: Piss off.
ERASMUS: And crosswords? You've mastered them?
NEIL: Years go.
ERASMUS: Now you see I'm all right with crosswords but I excel at Dingbats.
NEIL: If you say so yourself.
ERASMUS: If I say so myself, yes.
NEIL: Those are the ones with the visual clues, right?
NEIL: So you're a visual learner.
ERASMUS: My memory seems to think so.
NEIL: I wish I was a visual learner. I'm an audio kind of guy.
ERASMUS: Audio learning's not to be sniffed at.
NEIL: Oh it's great for eavesdropping, fantastic for overhearing stuff. Not worth a shit when solving puzzles though.
ERASMUS: Hands-on puzzles, you mean. There is such a thing as logic puzzles. You often read those out.
NEIL: You mean riddles.
ERASMUS: That's the word. Riddles are great.
NEIL: Riddle me this: what's at the end of both everything and nothing?
ERASMUS: The letter 'G'.
NEIL: Not always true. Where I come from the 'G' gets dropped from time to time. Every-thin.
ERASMUS: Riddles aren't usually applicable to all accents and dialects.
NEIL: Not everyone can speak purty English like y'all.
ERASMUS: Fuck off, farm boy. This is what years of good practice gets you.
NEIL: Since when is growing up privileged considered practice?
ERASMUS: Since I got to be so good at it.
NEIL: You got a newspaper on you?
ERASMUS: Of course. Want to check your horoscopes?
NEIL: Yeah right. Gimme.
ERASMUS: Would you like a pen too?
NEIL: I think I'll try the word wheel. I got up to twenty seven words yesterday.
ERASMUS: That's about average.
NEIL: I'm getting there. Don't sell me short.
ERASMUS: Sorry, Mr Riddler sir. Here are your pages.
NEIL: All right. Thanks.
ERASMUS: Let me know if you get stuck.
NEIL: Ha! Don't you mean 'if'? Wait, sorry I wasn't listening fully.
ERASMUS: Work it out in your head.

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