I (sometimes) call myself Mr. Pondersome. I'm a rather wordy, weirdy person. I say hullo a lot. I write a lot more. While you're here, why not give some of it a read?

Sunday, 4 November 2012

MATE Complaint #37 (a.k.a. THE FUTURE!!! Well, possibly...)

MATE Complaint #37


            I was told that it was love with a 99.7% success rate. I have sufficient reason to disagree with this.

            On meeting her, Option 1222 seemed to fit her on-file description to a tee. As predicted by the MATE Interface, her fair skin, broad eyes and child-bearing hips fit most of the key points of my anatomical specification. I was pleased to discover that she smokes too.

            However, Option 1222 has two specific behavioural issues that were not mentioned on-file.

First and foremost, her hand movements. Option 1222 has twitchy forefingers that can be seen tapping on a semi-regular basis. As one can imagine, this somewhat impatient action severely disrupts the flow of polite dinner conversation.

            Furthermore her pupils dilate too frequently whilst in the company of others. This interferes with point 14 in my personal psychological profile. It seems implausible that even other women can arouse her attention in so vivid a fashion.

            Therefore I must insist that you check and update your records on Option 1222 and then myself. In the meantime, I have asked that we do not meet again for the reasons stated above. She has, of course, complied.




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