CHRISTMAS SONGS GO ON AND ON (a.k.a. A Festive Thought about Replay Value)

            People are complaining about Christmas songs being played up and down shop aisles. You've heard maybe two songs and one of them was Stay Another Day which isn't really a Christmas song; it was just popular during the season two decades ago.

            So you play Wizzard. You play Slade. You play Wizzard more than Slade because Slade really has been overdone. You give Fairytale of New York a rest.

            You take Wizzard, Mudd, Jona Lewie and all their friends from Christmases long, long ago with you as you move around.

            With your headphones in you feel gleefully against the world. You can keep your Christmassy mood quiet until everybody gives in and catches up.

            A matter of weeks later and that glee has gone. Showaddywaddy becomes shoddy and, if you hear the perfect blend of Bowie and Crosby one more time, you might just be relieved that neither lived to see this Christmas.

            So you change tact, you try lesser-known Christmas songs. Drinking White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin fills you with a lovely warmth. I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas by The Goons helps you to accept the mad stumbling around. I Believe in Father Christmas is always a good song to listen to when you're fed up of Winter Wonderlands and whatever Santa is doing in them. Like Greg Lake, you start really thinking about this time of year.

            You run out of shops on the first bars of Maria Carey's melisma, you avoid all carol singers and especially Carols from King's. You might put a music channel on for Christmas morning but it's usually covers of really old songs.

            By Boxing Day all these sleigh bell tunes are defunct, packed away as you unpack all your goodies. Jingle, jingle, rattle, gone.

            Prince pops into your head and you start humming 1999. You seek out New Year's Day by U2. Thankfully these aren't mandatory and their relevance is done within a week.