MINUTES OF THE 2015 CONFERENCE OF DEATH (a.k.a. Some Grim Record Keeping)

Apologies:- Suicide, Manslaughter.

Minutes of the last meeting:- The minutes were passed as read.

Euthanasia:- Wants to change name to 'Culling'. No moral or ethical reasons, just doesn't want to be misconstrued as a 'Youth in Asia'. Finds such puns tawdry. Prefers Culling because it sounds like a badass name, not due to an unannounced passion for the Twilight vampire.

Natural Causes:- Following on from Euthanasia, would quite like a name change too. Unfortunately can't think of anything suitably bombastic at this time.

Murder:- Reduced services are planned due to budget cuts. Is willing to share more work with Manslaughter provided the conscience can be found. Will not be giving any more to Suicide; people are starting to get the wrong idea. No offence meant. Murder ultimately wants to integrate better in this community.

Immolation and Electrocution:- Wish to abdicate given the recent rise in survival rates. Do not believe they can properly contribute anymore. Impalement and Dismemberment still undecided though answers will be forthcoming.

May 4th Event:- Irradiated atmosphere expected but not yet paid for. Genocide and Epidemic still require more volunteers to man the plague towns and so shall extend the deadline to April 1st (no joke). Variety of talent would be appreciated.

DOOM Skill Improvement Sessions:- To be held in local Killing Fields on Tuesday 7th April. Resurrection will be involved but not leading the speaking part of the session. However it would be polite to acknowledge this time.

Brain Death:- Still waiting on placement decision. Culling née Euthanasia is taking a great interest and will support wholly if the outcome is positive.

Sacrifice:- Ritual Sacrifice's condition is deteriorating. Heroic Sacrifice would appreciate further support from the community, preferably donations made in blood.

Traffic on the Dark Endless Plain is still speeding although Trials have been done and nothing is planned at present.

Mortal fouling bins are requested on Sadism Lane, as there is a bad problem with corpse bags being thrown into the burning bushes. This is unfortunate, as this road is not on a collection route.

Date and time of next meeting:- The End of Human Civilisation (all being well).